De-Friended

Apparently "unfriend" was the word of the year for 2009 - @ least according to this article from dailymail.co.uk

They may say 'unfriend', however I think popular opinion would side with the slightly different term of 'de friend' to describe the action of removing a 'friend' from your friends list on social networking sites, most commonly Facebook. However after actually taking the time to actually "look" at what it says on facebook - I think the correct term would be removing a friend.

You may already know that at the beginning of the year I was in a little poke war with an ex love. I love Facebook poking! I really need to sit down and properly write about how my heart healed itself through a string of pokes, the amazing restorative properties of a very tiny icon. . . but today is not that day!

Today I'm going to tell you about poking another ex love, and 'accidentally' getting de-friended in the process! This is the ex love I wrote about in my post 'That Summer' I think I'll call him "the Star" for reasons only known to him.

He is such a great guy, great mate! Totally cracks me up whenever I'm Down, Supports me when I'm falling apart and encourages me when I feel like quitting! He really is a star!

I hadn't chatted with him for a week or two, and the poking war had begun to diminish, I figured I'd start one with him. Only for entertainment value - & for the fact that you can know someone's still alive and kicking when they don't upgrade their Facebook status. (I truly believe there is so much more to be said for the facebook poke - its truly marvelous!!)

A day or two later I was checking out Super Poke on Facebook - so much more to do than just poke! I decided to throw a sheep @ the star, but when I went looking for him in my friends list, but he wasn't there!

I was scared for a second. Had the star fallen from the sky? Did I forget to make a wish as he shot across the sky on his way into social networking oblivion?

So I searched for him on Facebook, Found him easily (he really is a one of a kind. If I ever find another person with his name . . .well I will buy a lottery ticket!!!) There he was, the sweet pic of him and wife to be, there was the box saying mutual friends. But He was no longer my friend!!!

What had I done? I know I failed to answer him via Facebook chat, he called me a whore, If I had been at my computer I wouldve responded with slut, But this missed message was weeks ago. Pre Poke!

Hit friend request, added message - " De-friended me huh? Pfftttt!!

A day later my news feed showed The Star and Violet Goodwin are now friends.

Then get the message saying I mustv'e defriended him, Pffft! again.

Then the answer, if it wasn't you, and it wasn't me. . . I wouldn't call it de-friending, I'd call it drunken wife to be logging in as me.

Panic ensued, far greater panic than when I discovered I as de-friended. And a heavy dose of fear. I have lost many a male mate through marriage. I think I will still boy Mrs star to be a nice fancy set of cuttlery, I just won't mention he stabbed me, or that for one summer we swapped saliva!

Not really much point to this story, It's not funny or insightful. Perhaps in time I will edit it so it will be. I kind of lost my steam thinking of some really great, special and close male friends I have lost to marriage.


As an asside On Facebook you have friends, whilst on Twitter you are either a follower of someone or they are following you. I guess "un-follow" Might make the list for 2010!


mm the conversation with a possibly nosy wife could be another good or boring story to tell. The one that I felt sure was this mates wife questioning a discussion we had had online that later got tagged "naughty!"  I am not a man stealer and am always overjoyed when my mates find love. I just wish their loves could be secure enough to not be jealous of a female friend.

Another Poke

It has been a very long 10 days. . . It has at times been agonizing.

But finally, I got that magic poke.

The poke I had been longing for,  - no matter how pathetic that is,
I'm almost proud to admit I'm pathetic, because It is the truth.

I even got a little more than a fb poke.

I got a sweet, short & succinct fb msg reply.

And just that alone, well it made my heart beat faster, it put the bright sunbeam quality back into the smile I had lost.

No matter how tiny, no matter how pathetic, I will always choose hope over doubt.

Even if my funny (well I thought it was funny) txt msg didn't warrant a reply.

I will cling to my hope and hold tight my dreams . . .  for  "the best laid plans of  mice and men often go awry"

I know the quote is about everything going wrong - this is exactly why I cling to hopes and dreams - the theme of Steinbeck's story, For everything has gone awry, but I still may just come out of it alive, and be all the better for it.

 For It is in our dreams that we find comfort when there is no other comfort to be found
Text quoted is from "Of Mice & Men" by John Steinbeck, which was originally written in a poem called "To a Mouse" by Robert Burns All other text plus the image are all mine lol

F*cking in Brooklyn

Sex and the City is now an internationally renowned TV-series and movie, set in the New York Dating scene, it circles around journalist Carrie Bradshaw and her eclectic clan of gal pals, whose adventures she writes about in her newspaper column. And although fashion has woven its way through both the warp and the weft Sex and the City,  It's true fabric is sex and relationships.

It began with New York journalist  Candace Bushnell. Bushnell wrote a regular column for the new york city observer, that revolved around the lives, relationships and dating experiences of Bushnell and her circle of friends. It was these columns which led to the original book - Sex in the City, an Anthology of her column. In turn the book led to the TV series, In which the central character is fashioned after Bushnell herself - Carrie Bradshaw is a writer, columnist, fashionista, and girl in the know when it comes to all things sexy in the city. Accompanied by her group of close friends, they collectively experience and discuss a plethora of dating & relationship issues.

I can't say that I'm a big fan (pun well and truly intended) of Sex in the City, yet the series & the pearls of wisdom it contains within are still of interest to me. Especially when on the very odd occassion, I have found myself somewhat single. However now that I am  >3 (greater than 30! lol) rather than <3  [is there less love after 30? - hmm, I plan to find out] I find myself completely under prepared for travelling upon the vast sea of dating & relationships. I find myself filled with so many questions and queries as to how it all works. Which if I was thin & fashionable & living in new york, sex in the city would be my guidebook. But I'm fat, punk & living in a coastal country town on Australia's vast coast.

I also have a teenage son and still live with his father who  -if you have done the math - is my ex. An ex whom I had been with from age 16 thru to 30 (not counting a 6 month "break" we had back in 2000/01), thus making me a total n00b when it comes to dating & even relationships. Yes 14+ years of being in a relationship should logically award me some kind of status above n00b, but it isn't being in a relationship I'm having trouble with, it's the getting into a relationship part I can't quite wrap my head around.

I know what I want (I think!), I know who I am, what I like, what my needs are and have got my whole side of things under control. What I do not know is how do men work? What makes them tick? Will they lie & say I love you just to get laid? (which when I asked my best male confidante - who's also an x,  - he said F*^* Yeah!!! immediately) , What are the rules to meeting with and dating people you have met online? and do guys have any respect or feelings for a booty call? and how is a booty call different to a friend with benefits? I know my answers to these questions, but It's the male perspective I'm interested in.

I want a masculine version of sex in the city. One where men openly & frankly discuss their feelings, motivations, actions and excursions into the dating world. I need a Jack Bradshaw, along with his mates, Charles, Sam & Andy (sorry - that's the closest I could get to Miranda for a guy, if u have better please do suggest onet). I want to know about what they think of and discuss pre & post date. Do they find themselves more drawn into a relationship with a woman if they don't have sex after a first date.

Does such a Jack even exist? A man willing to share with us women the male perspective on all things love, sex and relationships?


Well - I think such a Jack does exist.

Funnily enough his name is Jack. He writes about love, sex and relationships, in this decades form of a newspaper column - his blog!I think Jack from Brooklyn is the new Candace Bushnell.

I am so glad to be able to introduce you to F*cking in Brooklyn, -  Love as a Life or Death Experience!!

It's Sex in the City, except that it's written by a man, and his adventures are based in Brooklyn, rather than Manhattan. It's exactly what the Doctor ordered. It is witty and well written, it is cheeky & charming, Forth right and down to earth. If only Brooklyn wasn't so far from Australia!:P

I'm hoping eventually Jack's blog will lead to his own book and TV series, so that all us crazy women can start to get an understanding of just how guys tick!!!

So what are you still doing here - go, . . get lost, . .  go & get F*cking in Brooklyn. Trust me girls, it's so much fun!!!


P.S I also need to get some form of conversion calculator to work out all the things that have changed since I was last free and single. I embarrassingly had to ask my younger 18yr old friend what she was talking about when she said STI's, even sexually transmitted diseases have changed since my first time round. But I'm working on it!

More than one way to Poke

There is more than one way to poke a friend or loved one on Facebook.

After my last post -> Poke

I've found an absolute multitude of 'things' about the ambiguous facebook poke.

Including an article about a Facebook "poke" leading to an akward one night stand
(just realised my woe & pain & interest in the facebook poke is the result of an akward one night stand - god I am dumb)

Then I found cool ASCII art that you can poke people with. - lets see if I can get it to work on here??

………….POKE
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………..|………..|._____.._____.
………..|………..||…….|.|…….|.._____.
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………..|…………|..___|_|_____|.|……..|
………..|…………/…………….___.\..__..|
………..|………./………………|__|.|.|_|..|
………..|……./…………_________/.\.__./
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………..|../……………/…………………|
………..|/………………)………………./
………..|………………..)……………./
………..\…………………)…………../
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……………|……………………..|

And Another

War::::::War
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And an alternate that uses the word poke to create a mega poke image

©copyright ???

If by chance someone read this - and knows of other cool articles,art or whatever related to the Facebook Poke, please let me know so I can add it in

p.s still no return poke.

Poke

U poke me, I poke U.

I text U, U text me ? ? ?


I have an idea for a theory or a post revolving around the ways communication has changed over the past decade. My generation has seen such huge changes when it comes to communication. When I was a teenager I didn't have a mobile phone - they weren't out yet (got my first @21) no one knew what the internet was, and social networking was code for a swinger's style party!!

Another is about love in the digital age, an anecdote of a relationship that started in person, was followed by a letter. Then fast forward to this century, so many communication tools - all used in earnest, until the wheels fell off, the text messages stopped, emails went unanswered, eventually nothing

Radio silence . . .

then came the facebook pokes.
Can a relationship be resurected in the digital age.
One where a heart flutters to life because someone else took 2 seconds to hit the poke back link, saw your photo for a second, then clicked again to send it through.
Such a tiny act, yet its feels so good.

Stay tuned as we see how the poke back communication goes.

If I had any readers, I'd put up a poll to get feedback as to wether or not the above text should be sent lol - pathetic comunication in the digital age . . .

One more poke, then the text will get sent.

P.S - the paranoid part of my mind fears he may have read this - for today he popped up in my feed without re-poking me. Get with it girl and let go of the false hope, start falling already. The sooner you fall, the sooner you hit the ground, the sooner you start to heal and eventually feel better. Jan 12 2009

EDIT: Found this link to an artcle in the "Zen of the Facebook Poke" just figured it kind of fitted with this post