When I was 12 I wanted to become a nun. Not because I felt I had a calling, nor because I loved god. I didn't believe in god.
I was in love with the romantic ideal of the vocation, a desire created by viewing 'brides of christ' (a tv mini series)
I also loved the romantic notion of teenage pregnancy. I had always felt jealous of pregnant girls and the shows storyline only made my love of such a notion grow.
I went to an all girl's catholic boarding school for a short while, (which the show had co-indecently been filmed at) and my desire to be a nun was cured, along with any doubts I had that Christianity was realistic true or believable.
My desire to have a child, or rather be pregnant however only grew with time.As a dumb naive teenager my romantic notions surrounded only pregnancy and small babies, I never considered a toddler, child, teenager etc that are obvious destinations in life after getting pregnant and having a baby.
I was 15 when I first got pregnant. It was in no way romantic. Maybe becoming a nun would've been a better idea?
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